Patience

"You are the world's most patient person."  I was told this today.  More than once today people independently commented on my patience.   They didn't see the tears that I held back from spilling in order to keep that patience.  They didn't see the insecurity I have been feeling or the anxiety I have been biting back.  Should I even write about all this here?  It turns out that the original meaning of patience (see link) closely describes how I felt.  With the modern definitions, patience seems to be used more as what is perceived rather than what is experienced.  Only the second definition, here, seems to touch on the experience.  The way words change over time is an interesting study. 

Somehow, after the stresses of the day, my blood pressure was only 100/68 at my yearly appointment right after work.  The music in the car ride must have relaxed me a bit.  I went from having patience to being the patient and survived!

Before eating dinner tonight Z and I had to buy something to eat.  Walking to the local grocery store was the most healthy option and so we did.  We planned meals, had serious conversations and laughed at silly things along the way.  This walk is one I needed and is my happy for today.

And wow, that blue light!

☮